Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
