Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
