It's Friday. Sex?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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