Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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