whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Success! We fucked roommates!
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