ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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