I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
