I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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