you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
that is very illegal...i love you.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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