HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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