I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
