...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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