You work out of a Hotel?
id be glad to
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
