your room smells of hookers.
And success
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize