fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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