last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
