So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
