dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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