i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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