They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
