so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
