Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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