and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
