Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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