Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
