Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
