im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
