It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
