fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
