Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
