she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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