So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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