my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize