how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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