meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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