Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
