What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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