the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize