i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize