i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
