He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there's paper in my vomit.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
