did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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