so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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