so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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