Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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