White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
