it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
