I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
