i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
