Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
