think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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