And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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