you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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