I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
