I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize