We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
