Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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