went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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