Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
