Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
