Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
