she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dear god my vagina.
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