Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
