And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
