Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
