Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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