ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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