My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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