if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
