I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
