i permit you to call me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
