she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Randomize
