wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
