i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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