between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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