You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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