Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
