Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
