he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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