He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
