He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize