I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize